What Hurts The Most
by F.r.i.e.n.d.s. A.d.d.i.c.t.96
Summary: This is a song fan fiction. Penny leaves to live her dream in New York but is it really all she thought it would be? Leonard just misses her like crazy so what if they realize that breaking up and letting each other walk away is what hurts the most?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own The Big Bang Theory or any of the characters.

A/N: This fanfic is inspired by "What Hurts The Most" by Rascal Flatts.

Prologue:

They had their ups and downs like every couple. Jealousy, insecurity, and even commitment issues but even then they were able to make it through. He just didn't think it would have to come to this…breaking up. He knew something wasn't right…that things were different now but he thought they could work things out. They always did. He loved her and what hurt the most is when she walked away.

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And havin' so much to say

And watchin' you walk away

Leonard stood in the pouring rain as he and Penny just stared at each other. Looking at the woman he fell in love with three years ago when she first moved in, he couldn't take it anymore. How could she just get up and leave? Didn't what they had meant anything to her? Weren't they worth the fight? Leonard finally broke the silence.

"So you're really leaving then?"

"Yeah it's a long shot but this is my dream and I'll never know unless I go."

"But what about us?"

"Leonard there is no us we broke two years ago I thought we've been over this."

She just didn't get it did she? It wasn't worth trying to explain so he just let it go. He kept all the unsaid words inside. All the things he wishes he had decided to say. He had always acted like a fool to her but it wasn't like it was on purpose. He just wanted to love her but now they'd never know what could have been.

And never knowin'  
What could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was tryin' to do

"Right I just can't believe you're really leaving."

"I'll keep in touch okay?"

"Right good luck in New York."

"Goodbye Leonard"

"Goodbye Penny."

With that Penny closed the cab door and drove away. It would be months until he saw her again and for all he knew she wouldn't even remember him. She'd be famous, rich and everything she ever wanted to be… except his. Knowing that, it killed him inside but at least she'd be happy which all he ever wanted for her.

5 Months Later

Leonard sits at his desk working when he comes across a picture of him and Penny in his desk drawer. It was from Christmas two years ago when they were still together. They were wearing Santa hats and holding hands. It seemed like it was just yesterday Penny had to force Sheldon to take the picture.

Flashback

Penny and Leonard are decorating the tree as Sheldon stands to the side critiquing them. Not even Sheldon though could ruin this day. It was Christmas, Penny and the gang didn't have to work and it was snowing. Everything was perfect.

Sheldon: "No ugh you are doing this all wrong."

Penny: "What now Sheldon besides what do you know about Christmas trees?"

Sheldon: "Well…"

Penny: "Just kidding what's wrong with it?"

"The bust of Sir Isaac Newton is hanging too close to the bottom of tree. It could break easily."

"Fine."

Sheldon: "Thank you that is all I ask."

Penny and Leonard go back to decorating the tree until it's finished. Stepping back to look at their work, they both look at each other and have the same thought.

Leonard: "Christmas presents?"

Penny: "Christmas presents."

Leonard: "Okay you go first Penny."

Penny hands Leonard a present wrapped in Rudolph wrapping paper. Leonard tears up the box to find a picture frame.

Leonard: "What's this for?

"This", Penny says as she hands Sheldon a camera. "Our first Christmas Photo and Sheldon is going to be the photographer."

Sheldon: "Come on I really don't want to."

Penny: "Sheldon its Christmas please?"

Sheldon: "No! I don't want to!"

Penny: "Sheldon... I'll buy you two comic books."

Sheldon: "Fine gosh!"

Flashback Ends

What he wouldn't give to go back to that day. Back to when he could look into Penny's eyes and know in that moment she was his and no one else's. Now that she was in New York, she'd meet plenty of guys and probably wouldn't even remember him. With that, Leonard tucked the photo into his jacket pocket and drove home. After reaching the apartment, he plops onto the couch.

Sheldon: Leonard what's wrong?

Leonard: I miss Penny

Sheldon: Well did you tell her that?

Leonard: No

Sheldon: Maybe you should or you could visit her

Leonard: Yeah?

Sheldon: Of course

Leonard: You are a genius!

Sheldon: I know it's just a perk of being me I guess.


	2. Chapter 2

Leonard's Pov

I've been thinking a lot about what Sheldon said lately. I know I should give Penny her space and let her move on, it's just it's been five months and I miss her so I'm headed to New York. I just hope I made the right decision.

Sitting in the airport, Leonard waits for his flight which takes off in two hours. He walks around the airport, trying to kill some time when he gets a text from Sheldon.

Sheldon: Hey Leonard you still waiting for your flight?

Leonard: Ya it's leaving in like an hour.

Sheldon: Good luck with Penny.

Leonard: Thanks Sheldon I got to go. I'm going to head to my gate. I'll talk to you later.

Sheldon: Ok bye.

Leonard: Bye Sheldon.

Leonard heads to his gate and waits for his flight. As the flight begins to board and the plane is about to take off, there's only one thought going through his mind. There was no going back now.

Meanwhile In New York

Penny comes home from a long day's work to her apartment which she was paying for with her job as at a local restaurant, total shocker, but it paid. It was a much better job than the one in Pasadena but something was still missing. Not just her friends but Leonard. God how she missed him and that dorky smile of his but it was for the best. They were over and this was there chance to move on besides he probably would meet someone new anyways. There was just one thing she didn't expect. That is to see him sitting inside, waiting for her to notice him sitting there.

God how he looked cute in that superhero shirt of his and that jacket. Just seeing him there brought back a wave of memories. The day she moved in, decorating the Christmas tree, when he left for the artic, all of them washed over and held onto her like a blanket. She tried to forget him but no matter what she couldn't because at the end of the day, no matter what, she loved him and no matter how far apart they were or what happened, nothing could change that… ever.

He was her little Homunculus and she loved that about him no matter how stupid he could sometimes be.


	3. Chapter 3

Leonard's Pov

At the sound of the door opening, I stood up as Penny looked at me like I had no reason to be here.

"Leonard is that you?"

"Ya it's me."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. I wanted to talk."

"Leonard there's nothing to talk about."

"Penny just hear me out okay?"

"Fine."

This was his chance. He could fix everything and be with her. All he had to do was convince her to come home, where she belongs, with him and the rest of the gang. He was there and all her friends. What could there possibly be for her here? She needed to come home, so they could be together.

"Penny I've missed you and everyone back home misses you."

"Even Sheldon?"

"Okay maybe not everyone but the point is why can't you just come back to California?"

"There's nothing left for me in Pasadena."

Nothing left? What about the rest of the gang? They were her friends. Didn't they matter to her anymore? Maybe now she's this big time city girl, she was too cool for them. What happened to her?

"So that means it's okay to not talk to me for five months?"

"Hey that's not fair. I left to focus on my career."

"So that's it? Is that the only reason or is there something else I should know?"

Penny's Pov

It was one thing for Leonard to get into my apartment but asking for me to come home and leave my dreams behind? I can finally live my dream and all he can think about is taking it away. This is what I have always wanted and leaving Pasadena was the best thing for both of us. That's why I didn't talk to him. We both needed to move on. I just had no idea he'd come all the way up just because he missed me. After a couple moments of deafening silence, I look up and notice Leonard's eyes fixated on mine. No matter how I feel though about him being here, he needs to know the truth.

"Leonard I left because you needed to move on and get over me."

"What? Why would you say that?"

"We weren't right for each other. I'm dumb…you're smart. I'm a waitress and you're a physicist. Things wouldn't have worked out."

"I don't care about all that! I thought you knew that!"

"But I care! I walk around every day thinking you deserve someone better than me and its true okay? That's why I left, you deserve better."

"Why would you even think that when you know it's not true?"

"You're this smart, sweet, handsome, and a great guy who deserves someone smart and beautiful, not a dumb waitress from Omaha struggling to be an actress when she knows she can't make it!"

"Come back I want you not some other girl you're the one I want to be with Penny."

"I need time to think Leonard."

"Fine I'm leaving tomorrow so let me know."

After Leonard leaves, I sink onto the floor as I feel the plush carpet sink in between my toes. I have no idea what to do. Do I stay in New York and try to live my dream or should I live to be with Leonard and my friends? I just hope I can figure this out. I don't even know what I want anymore.


End file.
